Archive for the ‘Musings’ Category

This is the first blog I’ve written in ages, and I’m afraid I have nothing better to offer than an incoherent rant. You see, the thing is, I’m at home on my own, and I’ve just seen a photograph that has absolutely enraged me. And I have nobody to listen to me talk angrily about […]

I’m off to Snobs in a bit. If you’re a Brummie, you’ll know. If you’re not, allow me to explain. It’s dark and dingy. Hot and sticky. An underground sweatpit, frequently overcrowded with hordes of monumentally pissed people. A shithole. A complete and utter shithole. Oh, I nearly forgot. It’s also one of my favourite places […]

I’ve often marveled at the human mind’s capacity to eliminate memories of humdrum events, leaving our brains filled largely with moments of happiness and contentment. Having just completed my 23rd year as an Aston Villa season ticket holder, I’m particularly grateful for that. You see, it’s this capacity that allows me to forget the countless turgid […]

I ruddy love Gabby Agbonlahor. And who wouldn’t? There’s the endearing stupidity. The last minute goals. His short-lived flirtation with Twitter before he got shut-down, thanks to the aforementioned endearing stupidity. But one thing that I love about him more than most things is the fact that he’s a world-class wind-up merchant. ‘Shushing’ gestures to […]

Anyone who’s come across my Twitter account on the average Saturday or Sunday night will realise that for me to become infuriated in front of the television is hardly a rare occurrence. Just lately though, there is an advertisement which has incurred my silent wrath, and the regularity with which it’s shown has left my […]



Dear, I wasn’t expecting that I would ever have reason to get in touch with you. How wrong I was. I’ve been aware of you for some time, of course. I’ve seen your bizarre advertising campaign starring some frankly terrifying puppet pensioners. I’m also aware that you recently followed Kevin Keegan, Geoff from Byker […]

Blogs, ‘eh? You go more than six months without writing one, then two come along at once. It’s no coincidence. I’m not one for new year’s resolutions as a rule, but I’ve resolved to be more resolute and one of my aims is to write for pleasure more often. So here I am. The second […]

The best part of The X Factor each year is invariably the audition stage, and without fail it tends to boast some poor bloke who assures the judges that he’s ‘brilliant’ at karaoke before the inevitable tuneless drone is met by the boos and jeers of the baying crowd. I fear the day will soon […]

For around three years now, I’ve finished various status updates, tweets, emails and blogs with a derivative of the immortal phrase; “You know I am. I really am.”

Some like it, some find it irritating, but I’m often asked one thing: “What does it mean?”.

Anyone who knows me will tell you of my sheer passion for football. I’ve been a season ticket holder at Aston Villa for 19 years now, and I can’t ever envisage being without it. And yet, as the biggest feast of football on earth gets underway, you must forgive me if I feel underwhelmed. The […]